3rds put pressure on 2nd in the league.

There’s something spiritual in captaining the Moor 3rds – not in the sense of tantric sex, ultimate enlightenment or out-of-body experiences, but in gazing into the crystal ball (via text message) to see what the onion juice (when held in front of a flame) will reveal on the team sheet each week. This week was no different.

Having not played for a fortnight due to ghastly weather, the 3s were chomping at the bit. Such horseplay was further encouraged as Sq. Ldr. Heath pointed out to his crew that they had been hard done by at Knutsford, even if their performance hadn’t been of the Royal Variety kind. What a surprise when the bloke who’d reffed at Knutsford turned up to captain the Knutsford side! A gentle reminder to the lads was all it took to prepare them for revenge. At least when our captain has to ref he does it fairly!

So, a real chance to put pressure on the 2^nd placed team in the league. They apologised for bringing 12 players, and said that 7 had been drafted into the 1^st team – what a shame! Moor magnanimously gave them a player, so the teams squared up 14-13 at the opening whistle.

Moor chose to play with the unpredictable wind and quickly made it count by playing almost exclusively in the Knutsford half for the first 20 minutes. A series of drives and rucks led to a snipe on the blind side where the skipper slipped a textbook pass to Tom Ireland who outpaced the defence to score a simple try which was converted by Rick Lindsay. Shortly afterwards, a tap penalty was received by Heath and he brought a rampaging Chabal onto the ball – no-one was going to stop him from 10 metres out! Moor were playing at pace and Knutsford had no answer. Well, maybe that was a premature thought – a long clearance from the visitors’ fly-half rolled towards touch, and Dave Caveman Nolan chased hard, diving desperately to keep the ball in play, only to the advantage of the Knutsford player who out-barged (unfairly) Tom Ireland to gather and score in the corner. This was very much against the run of play, and Moor returned to the Knutsford half immediately from the restart, with Heath punting aggressively to peg the visitors back.

In an interview about international squad nicknames in 1995, Jason Leonard said that Dean Richards was known as Warren, as in Warren Uglybastard – I don’t know what the significance of that is to this report, I just liked it and thought it needed to be repeated.

The ubiquitous Tom Ireland capitalised on Knutsford lackadaisicalness by taking a quick tap penalty and jinking his way over on the left wing to register his second try. Half time sounded and Moor led by 17-5. The resulting team talk was a salutary message in pulling one’s finger out, as Moor should have racked up more points from their bountiful possession and territory in the first half. Heath demanded more of his brave young aces in the second period stating that he was disappointed with the scoreline and the mistakes being made. All nodded in agreement, and it was clear that the team was motivated to perform in the second half.

The quality of rugby certainly didn’t improve much as the second half commenced. Chabal and Ireland were less prominent – Heath had brought them into play to great effect in the first half. The centre partnership of Lindsay and Graham functioned very well – a defensive wall – but they would have wreaked havoc with a bit more quality fast ball. Beggy had the blindside covered and undertook a trademark tackle on the fly-half – ouch! SAS Darwin had all the squares covered and carried out his duties with a quiet effectiveness. Rob Coates was proving a handful at loose-head, and he’ll certainly devastate a few teams as his fitness and confidence grows.

Tom Ireland – keen to be near the ball and to have the opportunity to run, worked tirelessly to support his team-mates. He bagged another couple of tries through being in the right place at the right time, and we all know he never gives up chasing what others might think is a lost cause. Tom and Chabal stood out a mile today.

It was great to see the return of Tony Murton – AM – as in Aston Martin! His first piece of action since breaking an ankle was a full-blooded tackle on the visitors’ centre. You almost want a cartoon strip or special effects department to go ‘crunch’ when the DB9 tackles an opponent. He made a difference, much as Tom Ireland does, through offering a lineout option, making tackles all around the park and being a natural leader.

Moor are 27-5 up, and a bellow from the touchline announces the arrival of Max Arnold, dressed for punting on the Mersey. He got changed on the touchline standing in a plastic bag and (dis)graced the park for the last 5 minutes. A bit out of touch – yes, but a true character who will always be welcome in the red, black and amber hoops. He was beaten onto the field by Kirky, wearing his own sponsored shirt, who slotted in at tight-head for the last few minutes. Good job the shirt was made of Lycra - it was nearly as tight as the dreaded Benidorm Red - I've still got one of those somewhere.

At the final whistle, Heath promoted himself to Wing Commander with DSO and Bar for a magnificent piece of motivational man-management and putting two of his comrades in for tries.

Macclesfield away next week… can Moor continue to pressure the league leaders?

Stay tuned – same time, same channel, next week.

MOM – it goes without saying – Tom’s four tries just shaded the skipper’s tactical brilliance.