Moor struggle to match Burnage in local derby.

I’m not going to dwell on this fixture for too long, as I still feel somewhat miffed at being denied a true performance by the nature of the opposition. The Moor team was looking to maintain pressure on the top two and to hopefully open a gap between third and fourth spot in the league, but circumstances conspired to deny us that opportunity. Burnage had no cup match for the 1^st XV and so benefited from a knock-on effect that enabled them to play strengthened teams at 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th team level.

We therefore encountered a much-changed team from the September fixture and it was clear that we were going to struggle to get a result. Even the midges were out to get us.

Burnage scored first through their youthful and strong-running backs. We were never going to get anywhere near Knighty on their left wing, and did well to contain him throughout the first half. Moor tackled well and competed with good attitude in the loose. Cal Fielding went off after a few bursts for a chunder – he’s a bit young to be doing that sort of thing! Kirky played the old trick of collapsing the scrum when we lost our own put-in and we scored from the resulting re-scrum. Heath scampered blind and set up Jaz with a beautifully-taken dummy opportunity from scrum half. Jaz continued at pace into the Burnage half and eventually slung a miss pass past Heath to find Sutty on the left wing. Right decision, as Sutty switched on the afterburners and touched down under the sticks. Jaz converted. A truly poetic try.

Burnage then hit back and led 17-7 as the half time whistle blew.

Chabal had the run of the match from the re-start, thundering downfield only to be legged up by the Burnage sludge when a try looked likely. He really is getting back to his best. The strong Burnage outfit was not having it all its own way and Moor’s performance improved as the match went on. Unfortunately, we couldn’t quite maintain enough possession and didn’t support some excellent breaks well enough to pose much of a threat. Burnage slipped in for another 10 points unanswered to record a 27-7 victory at the final whistle.

A few points:  Every man who travelled with the team managed to get on the park at some stage (all 21). Chabal looked great with ball in hand, and G. Michael put in an immense amount of work making many defensive tackles. Rick Lindsay showed great attitude in sniping around the fringes. Sutty was different class. Tom Ireland competed for every ball, and won the lion’s share. SAS read the game well and de-fused many Burnage attacks. Euan ‘The Dissector’ Begg pulled off yet another of his bone-crunching tackles and the crowd had to gasp in awe (or was it pain?). Jaz made a nuisance of himself in all departments and succeeded in riling the whistle-blower, Barty, to the point of near red-cardedness.

‘It’s a shame we weren’t playing on a level playing field’, mused the Group Captain, suitably slippered and tinnied on the sofa that evening, with the opportunity to maintain pressure at the top of the league well and truly gone. He received a couple of text messages that night – the first from Coatesy who, on hearing of the nature of the team’s demise, said, “W**kers, that’s typical from them cheating pi*s. Oh well, I bet we were the better team”. Actually, Rob, we weren’t, because we lost!

The second message was of a rather more personal nature and shall remain confidential, but you might ask the Vice Captain about his sexuality when you next bump into him, but make sure you’re not in the toilets at the time!

Balls to you, partner, arse against the wall, never been sh***ed on a Saturday night, never been sha***ed at all!   You know the rest.

Scatter!